11 JanConfidence is the answer for successful dating

They say that those with drop dead gorgeous physical appeal are truly blessed. Whilst this is true, it fades into insignificance compared to someone that has a sophisticated and confident personality. If you are lucky enough to possess good looks as well as self confidence then you have the world at your feet.

As things go, we have little choice as to what we look like, (with the exception of plastic surgery) what we do have though is a choice of being a confident person if we so chose. Certainly some people are gifted in this area and operating in a confident manner comes naturally. In today’s competitive world there is a common saying ‘if you don’t ask you don’t get’ Confident people will come right out and ask or comment without giving it any thought hence seizing an opportunity when it becomes obvious, or ’striking while the iron is hot’ because if you don’t you will surely miss your chance as you watch that beautiful girl walk in the opposite direction, or you miss a small window of opportunity to close a deal at work as a result of hesitation.

Truly though, these people you see who can so naturally have anyone eating out of the palm of their hands achieve this by capitalizing on an opportunity and instinctively knowing when to strike. Anyone can do it, there are services such as life coaching that can whip your self confidence into line. Once you start to build on your self confidence you will notice how the world will not seem so much of a challenge anymore.

Self confident singles are always dating someone new. This applies to any kind of romantic scenario whether it be at a singles bar, dating someone you have met through friends, perhaps there are available singles where you work. For singles that are not genetically blessed with the gift of the gab and are taking measures to improve this, visit a few dating sites. Online dating sites are the ideal way to test your new found self confidence. And do not make the mistake of hiding your online dating venture from your friends through feeling embarrassed by resorting to dating sites to get hitched. In fact do the opposite, tell every person you know and be proud and confident as you do so.

Expressing your true feelings and thoughts out loud has alot to do with self confidence and is a good rule of thumb to fall back on. Remember its all about seizing an opportunity when it presents itself. Being a successful person is much like competing in anything, you need to be at your best to get the right result.

11 JanDoes finding love have a used by date

For many years you have been used to being a wife and mother, among the many other roles that have contributed to the life you have built. There will be mutual friendships you and your husband will have formed that have become an integral part of your social network. Many traditions go along with having a family such as your immediate family birthdays and anniversaries, get togethers for you and your husbands relatives such as Christmas, Easter, more birthdays and of course the in laws commitments.

There are school commitments for the kids like parent teacher night, sports carnivals, dropping your kids off and picking them up from their friends house and helping them with their home work. With all the difficult commitments comes a satisfying trade off whereby you get to see your beautiful children growing up slowly day by day, and becoming strategically involved in watching them develop into young citizens of the world. You live your life for your family. So what happens when all this routine is simply, gone!

Breaking up with your husband after years of marriage will certainly see you lose your identity for a period of time. You are not used to living your life based around you, your family became your whole priority. In this initial period of tragedy, your friends and perhaps a relationships counselor will be your best asset.

You will need to get used to a new routine with your ex to be able to maintain your children’s well being. Soon your focus will start turning back to yourself with the amount of spare time you now have on your hands. The question of dating again will also start to ring loudly, but how on earth do you train yourself to be a confident single woman again. It may well have been 10 or 20 years since this question was raised, and with a few more years under your belt this time, is it even possible or realistic to consider such a thing?

Firstly, you must come to terms with your situation and allow time for this to happen. Take small but decisive steps to work on your self esteem and image. Take the fight head on, and ever so slowly you will come out on top. As far as meeting Mr. Right, you should know that there are thousands of different scenarios that attribute to couples breaking up. Whilst you feel like you are the only person that understands what you are going through, you could not be further from the truth.

Try using the internet and online chat rooms to find other male singles to chat to. Online dating sites are a fantastic way to take small steps in finding a new partner. And where else can you do this from the security and comfort of your own home.

The days of going to a club, or relying on your friends to meet singles are no longer an option for us middle aged folk. Online dating sites are now an integral part of the singles and dating scene, this concept of matchmaking may seem strange to you, but think of it as a whole generation of technology that you have missed out on, so give it ago and have some fun!

10 JanDoing the party circuit with the guy your dating

Hanging out with the guy you have been dating is pretty easy, nothing beats special time alone with your lover. Sooner or later though you will need to leave your love nest and show the rest of the world what a great couple you both make. Introducing your new love interest into your circle of family and friends can be very daunting for your both. Learn how to bring him into your social circle.

Avoid ditching him. When you both arrive at a party, try not to forget that he doesn’t know anyone. It’s pretty easy to get side tracked greeting your friends, leaving him stranded. Remember, you’re not there as one of the singles anymore, there are two of you to think of. This is the worst situation you can leave him in, you need to ensure he is included in your conversations, and purposely introduce him to other people to chat to. It’s also a golden opportunity for him to meet new friends.

Let him be him. After the 3rd or 4th time you have both been out together socializing with your friends, you may start to see another side of his personality come through as compared to knowing him only as a lover. He might be less social than you, and you may question why he isn’t into the whole social butterfly thing as much as you. When you’re first dating someone, this doesn’t seem so important but these types of issues can cause problems down the track if you try to change someone into something there not.

He would prefer not to go. Unless he has become totally isolated from your friends, if on the odd occasion he doesn’t want to go, be happy with what makes him happy and think of it as a night out where there is only one of you to think of instead of two.

Leave your problems at the door. Try not to carry on with any arguments once you arrive at the party. Agree not to make a scene, it’s very easy to spot a couple who are having a miserable evening, perhaps even consider staying at home rather than turn up all frustrated and upset. Besides, arguments between couples at parties are a great way to spoil the atmosphere.

Did you meet him online? Many people are shy when it comes to admitting to meeting their partner on an online dating singles site. If so, are you willing to lie about how you met? Online dating is often perceived as a last resort for singles to meet someone so it’s common for online dating couples not to be entirely truthful about how they met.

Keep the conversation cheerful, don’t make harmful comments towards others. Negativity is not a nice way to spend a night out with your guy and friends. Alcohol has a tendency for us to broach subjects we wouldn’t go near in normal circumstances, so if you or your partner have had too much to drink, keep an eye on them, just in case you need to come to the rescue.

09 JanDating ideas – hangn’ out together

A fresh outlook on romance, dating ideas under $30, romantic hotspots and tips on how to keep your relationship interesting.

Going on a first date to the movies and dinner is the most common choice for first dates in America according to relationships guru, Diane Bishop. But is dinner and a movie the best choice?

Sitting face to face for an hour at a restaurant with someone you hardly know is not the ideal way to casually get to know someone. And sitting next to this person for 2 hours without being able to communicate during the movie doesn’t seem like a sensible way to find out more about each others personalities. So why is dinner and a movie the most popular first date choice in the world? Answer: habit, and ‘playing it safe’

The thing is, singles who are dating around and looking for a spark don’t want to ‘play it safe’ We are all looking for someone who will make a lasting impression, someone that can show their individual qualities and won’t hide behind the patterns of society.

Perhaps you have already met the love of your life, and dinner at the same restaurants or take out from the same Thai place every Friday night is starting to become a ‘habit’- you need to broaden your horizons before your relationship gets stuck in 2nd gear.

Here’s something you may never have thought of, it’s cheap, very engaging and will show your date you have an interesting personality. The relationships game called – The Do Tell Game – which uses cards to prompt you to talk about certain things that are important to you and is a fantastic way to break the ice. The Do Tell Game is played with a deck of cards so you can take it on a date in any environment. Grab a blanket, a bottle of wine, sit by the lake and probe each others mind with this cool dating game.

Try this dating game out. Probably not so much for a first date, but hey, stranger things have happened! ‘Nookii’ provides participants with a timer, and the rules of Nookkii state that you must pleasure your partner for the length of time as set by the timer rules. Each person is dealt cards that instruct the other person to perform an act of pleasure on the other player. The “mmm” cards initiate tame instructions such as a back rub or foot massage, and as the game progresses the “ooh” cards start to turn up the heat – get the idea?

Many of us (most males) assume the stereotypical type of date such as an expensive restaurant and expensive wine is the only solution to successfully romancing your date. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Just ask any woman – would she prefer going on a date to an expensive restaurant, or grabbing a bottle of champagne, a snack and a blanket, then lying under the stars at night at the beach or some other secluded romantic spot.

Dating with these alternative options saves money, shows your unique side, and encourages couples to interact.

Visit us for expert online dating tips and relationships advice.

07 JanThings the guy your dating wants you to do

1. Follow your instincts. How will he know the real you and that you have such a wicked sense of humor if you pretend to be a dainty good little girl for the entire date. Cut loose a little. If things progress between you both, he is going to find out the real you anyway. So come straight out of your shell and show him your true personality. If your sensing some mutual attraction, ask him to dance, stop fussing around and get a physical connection happening.

2. Time to flirt. This doesn’t mean you need to throw yourself at him. A sincere touch of his hand will seem innocent to you, but to him, he is secretly punching the air with excitement and will take this as a sign to move things to the next level.

4. Check him out, make sure he sees you. Its very flattering for a man to be checked out in a physical manner. Decide on his best physical quality and make comments about it. For example his shoulders or chest. Tell him what a killer smile he has or make mention of his dreamy eyes. Men love this kind of attention.

5. Respond to his humor. Guys know that women like funny men. So if he tries on some humor, whether he is funny or not, laugh at his attempt anyway. A little giggle will re-assure him.

6. Don’t let him be the only funny one. Great conversation often revolves around funny stories or experiences. Tell him about the time you went out for the night and later realized you had put your under wear on backwards. Or the time you went skinny dipping with your girl friends. Now that is sure to grab his attention.

7. Try to avoid showing him pictures of your friends. The minute you do this, the thought of a threesome will start ringing loudly in his dirty little mind. And if your serious about this guy, you wont want to be sharing him.

8. Horoscopes. While more men these days are turning to spiritual guidance, most men will run a country mile if you start placing too much emphasis on this subject. Dating someone new should be light hearted and fun, issues like spirituality or beliefs can be discussed if you end up dating this person a 2nd or 3rd time.

9. Singles online dating sites – Is where the men are! Extended contact with someone you meet from an online dating site counts as a first date, so by the time you meet them in person, you have already established chemistry. Most singles these days are opting to meet and get to know their date online, or communicate via chat rooms and get a solid indication as to whether there is a mutual attraction. Singles who meet through online dating sites have a higher success rate of moving onto a second face to face date as compared to meeting someone at a nigh club or bar.

06 JanMiddle aged dating – Alot to look forward to

Twenty years ago, if someone remained single into their 50s, they were doomed to live a life of sexual abstinence, and their life long journey of finding ‘the one’ was over. It meant your family life was now confined to traditional catch ups with your brother or sisters families for birthdays and Christmas, and your relatives couldn’t help but have pity on you.

Like I said, that was twenty years ago, so be happy that you are part of a generation where 50 is the new 30. Today, middle aged singles are rarely sitting at home day after day counting down their last years.

As we start to get on in age, our desire to live a romantic and sexually fulfilled life is as strong as ever.

If you are 50, married or unmarried, there are numerous reasons to enjoy this stage of your life. Thing is, why must you act your age? By the time your reach this mile stone, your kids (if you have any) are usually off your hands, and suddenly, you are back to the same position as when you were 20-30 years younger, which meant fun and freedom. Make the most of your singles status, don’t become one of those people who dwell on the ‘what if’ or ‘if only’ factors.

The most important aspect for anyone of any age is to maintain good health, if you have this on your side you have the world at your feet. So c’mon, throw some caution to the wind and take action. Ever heard this saying? You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink. Most middle aged singles fall right into this category. Where to start…

Join an online dating site. Online dating for seniors is a multi million dollar industry. Participate in singles chat rooms, most of the online dating sites will have these features and will offer online chat for all different age groups. You don’t need to settle down with the first person you meet online, maybe you need to sow your wild oats, 20 year olds are doing it, and there’s nothing stopping you. Try dating a younger man or woman, your single remember. Many online dating sites also host regular offline singles functions for every age group, and then there are singles holidays you can investigate.

New friends. Dating again in your 50s means you will also meet new friends. When first dates don’t turn romantic, you are more likely to remain friends than younger daters. And good friends are always valuable at any stage of life.

Body image. Forget it! You don’t need to be hitting the gym 6 days a week, scale back to some moderate exercise – relax. Take up tennis or dancing instead, its fun, great exercise and very social.

Where all doing it! Dating that is. The latest Census data released by the American Bureau of statistics claims that 40% of people aged between 55 and 77 are single, representing millions of singles who are also on the look out for romance.

Experience wins every time. With two daters in their 50s merging 60 – 70 years of sexual experience, this is definitely what we call a win-win situation. And forget about being restricted to dating on a tight budget like you used to when you were 25. Dating in your 50s will see you taking regular weekends away to the winery, B&Bs, and will allow you to take short or long holidays together now that you have less budget constraints.

Just because you have turned 50 and are single should not mean you hide at home in front of the TV relying on your home creature comforts to pass time. Put yourself out there and doors will start to open up again. This fundamental piece of advice is crucial for any individual who is looking to further themselves whether it be for romance, business, sport, or absolutely anything you want to achieve in life. No-one is going to come knocking on your door and give you the answer.

31 DecDating agencies – What you need to know

Using these alternative options for finding romance offers anonymity, a wide selection of singles and a highly targeted group of potential matches. Whether you choose a dating agency or an online dating website one thing you can be sure of is that the people you will meet are also looking to find someone that will bring a spark into their life. The possibility of meeting someone that isn’t available simply wont happen, its just a matter of whether you both click. Hence the journey begins!

You will be able to locate a dating agency in every major Australian city including Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, Perth, Darwin and Tasman.Dating agencies offer a much more personalized service as compared to online dating sites. However with this added service comes cost. To join a programme through a dating agency can cost hundreds even thousands of dollars. You will be issued with many details about potential matches including portfolios and photos which have been carefully prepared by the dating agency representative and their client. The process to find someone you are mutually attracted to can take longer than searching online however you are strategically paired off by the dating agency based on your portfolio.

Online dating is some what cheaper, in fact many dating sites are 100% free. There are benefits of using dating sites including convenience – Search for love online at home in your pajamas if you want to. You have the advantage to assess hundreds of singles in a very short period of time. Given such a huge amount of choice isn’t always an advantage however. Unlike dating agencies, some singles who post profiles online are known to be very deceptive and mis-leading in the details offered in their member profiles, unlike a dating agency whereby a profile is carefully and professionally constructed by the dating agency so the best possible match’s can be identified.

So both options have their pros and cons, try doing your own research as to which is most suitable. Many singles tend to start out joining a free online dating site. The fact that it is free is a great starting point and you can progress onto a dating agency if online dating isn’t working for you.

14 DecHow to Tell if an Online Dater is Interested

Don’t you hate it when you send a prospective date a message and they don’t bother to respond? How frustrating, not to mention a waste of you time. It’s the new equivalent of sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. This can be a problem with some online dating sites. How do you know if they actually received your message?

In fact, that’s what I want to talk about. Even though online dating is so much safer and secure these days, some sites just don’t get it. The two most common complaints are either the service is poor or you pay for a membership to an online dating site that has 23 members but you thought they had 23,000. Well, that used to be the case. Now, service levels on online dating sites are becoming sophisticated.

Here’s what I mean. When you make contact or attempt to make contact with someone through an online dating site you expect a reply. If you don’t get one, you might think that that person didn’t like your profile, picture or maybe it was that certificate you obtained in advanced cannibalism. Joking! On the other hand, maybe that person didn’t get it yet or is no longer a member. There are many reasons. My point is – don’t get upset, it can happen.

More importantly, when you do get a reply, you’d like to think that it was real and written specifically for you…right? Some aren’t! That’s right. There are some lazy members who have many accounts with many online dating sites who think they are clever by cut and pasting their responses and posting them on all of their profiles on many sites. Fortunately, these responses are not hard to pick. So you really don’t want these lazy members for a date or for that matter…anything!

On the other hand, you may get a reply which is pleasant and there are a couple of points made in their reply that take your interest. Reply to them and make it known that you have an interest in those areas too. You should ask questions on those topics. Get the conversation started. Stimulate the communication and peel back the layers to see what in fact you’ve got hold of. It might just be the right partner.

03 DecOnline dating – Love or lies?

When Comparing the two scenarios of meeting a complete stranger face to face or via an online chat room, its pretty easy to see how people can get lulled into a false sense of security. But, realistically, there is no difference what so ever. What better opportunity for an online predator to weave his way into your home (and your children’s) and gain your trust even before you meet in person.

Put yourself in the same scenario in the offline world. Even if you are single and looking, lets say (hypothetically) a man was to walk straight up to your front door and engage you in a conversation that involved questions about your personal life such as where you worked, what you liked to do for fun, how many kids you had, when was the last time you had a love interest, are you single etc etc The vast majority of people would close the door and call the police. Why then, are we willing to divulge all of the above information to total strangers that approach us online?

The internet provides innocent, lonely and vulnerable singles with a sense of protection that really is not there. Yes there IS a real person sitting at their computer hacking away at your personal details for their own gratifications. The internet and chat rooms can be a very dangerous option for lonely hearts. On the other side of the coin, many singles who use online dating that are clever enough to be very selective with whom they trust on the internet often go on to finding someone very special to fall in love with.

According to social behaviour analysts, there are two distinct groups of singles who are vulnerable to internet predators. 1/ Teenagers: Particularly those young people that have had little or no guidance in their upbringing. Interestingly, teens with no male role model were targets of online sex predators. 2/ Lonely women and men recently split from a long term relationship, many people that have recently split from their partner will face issues such as low self esteem and anxiety. This group of singles are also in danger of abuse if they are using online dating sites.

How can we be sure that the person we are chatting to online is really the person they say they are – We can’t be sure. You may be engaging in conversation with a pedophile, serial rapist or a murderer. Whilst women find comfort in the degree of initial anonymity, they would be well served to research security measures they can apply before signing up to cyber dating.

01 DecOnline dating sites – What you need to know!

People often assume that meeting singles online and forming relationships this way will see these romances end more quickly than those singles who meet by conventional methods. It is widely and also incorrectly assumed that singles who meet this way are usually of inferior looks and lack social interaction skills. However studies have in fact proven that this theory is the reverse with regards to dating sites.

What this research has shown is that when online singles have advanced to the stage of meeting and understanding someone else they have met on a dating site they are not entirely blinded by an initial attraction and therefore are found to have a more likely chance of having things in common as a result of building a relationship through chat rooms and emails prior to meeting in person.

Online dating services allow their members to distinguish compatible matches from incompatible matches there for improving the chances of forming a successful relationship. Various dating sites allow singles to meet people any time of the day or night making this matchmaking tool a very convenient social outlet allowing busy singles to cruise the chat rooms any time they please and are not restricted to bar or club trading hours. For the same cost as one cover charge at your local club, a dating site will give you 1 months full access where you will be able to chat privately with other singles, join in on a group chat , or simply email those whose profiles are appealing and you would like to get to know.

Numerous variables regulate how successful a relationship can be regardless of whether you meet online or offline.Online dating simply gives you a head start with better odds compared to when you meet someone at a bar where the atmosphere is sometimes loud, is often set in a dark environment and where alcohol can cloud your judgement. Lets say you ask someone you met at a bar for their phone number, meeting someone this way will make your first date feel like you are dating a total stranger when you meet up again in a different environment.

Couples who gain skills in dealing well with communicating have a much better chance of going the distance. Online dating gives you the chance to be well informed before agreeing to go out with someone. Whats more, as we are not usually sitting at our computer downing Vodka Redbulls, its a damn sight cheaper too.